Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
