soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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