Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
