home. puking in laundry basket.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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