sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
