dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
