would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
