i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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