im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
