Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just googled if crying burns calories
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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