HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
