i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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