fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
