After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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