dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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