3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
