I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
