i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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