Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize