sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
