Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
