I feel great
I just peed on a car
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
