i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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