i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
