I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
