Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
