Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
