Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
