Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
