Duck Duck Cougar?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
50% drunk capacity currently
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
