I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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