The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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