This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
