Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
