giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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