im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize