just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
