you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
