my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
