What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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