Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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