I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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