drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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