and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize