After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize