I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
