Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
