I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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