Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
