I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
