Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
