Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
