I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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