operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
