I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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