i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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